By ALEX MALM

In 1993, Jim Carr, a then Providence Police Officer, met Elizabeth “Beth” Grey who was the manager at the former Z Bar in Providence at the time.

Almost three decades later, their lives would change completely. They became engaged, and Grey was diagnosed with ALS.

On Oct. 10, 2021, Grey lost her battle to ALS. Carr and others who knew her well want to keep her memory alive and on April 2, the first annual Elizabeth C. Grey Foundation fundraiser will be held at the Shannon View Inn. Carr recalls his visits to the bar.

“I was afraid of her (Grey), she was so intimidating,” said Carr.

After a while, Carr wasn’t able to go with his friend because of their work schedules. It was the last time Carr saw Grey.

That was until 20 years later when Carr went to the Shannon View on Post Road, Warwick, and immediately recognized Grey’s voice.

“I said ‘oh my God’,” Carr recalls.

Carr knew that he didn’t want to lose the chance to be connected with her again.

“It was destiny,” Carr said.

Carr would continue to frequent the Shannon View Inn toward the end of Grey’s shifts and would chat from across the bar. When her shifts were over, Grey would grab a stool seat next to Carr and would hangout for a while.

Eventually they found themselves spending time together outside the bar, including taking trips to  Chicago, Washington DC and even Iceland.

“I just fell in love with her,” Carr said.

‘She was spirited’

With photos of Grey spread out, Carr reflected on the kind of person Beth was.

One of the qualities Carr admired most is that Beth always put others first.

He recalled while she was the manager at the Z Bar and the restaurant was closed for a while due to renovations. The staff wasn’t getting paid or collecting unemployment.

To help out her staff, Beth took money out of her 401K to help pay for her employees’ bills.

Carr would eventually learn that Beth was almost evicted herself because of late rental payments but it didn’t matter to her. She wanted others to be taken care of.

“She was spirited,” said Carr.

Beth moved to Providence from Blackstone, Massachusetts, when she was 19 years old working in the service industry her entire life.

For the last 10 years of her life, Beth lived in Gaspee Point. She fulfilled her lifelong dream of wanting to live on the water.

Along the way working in the service industry, she got to meet a lot of different people in the profession.

One of those was Jack Doherty, the owner of the Shannon View Inn.

“She was just a dynamic and tremendous person and a great friend,” said Doherty.

Like Carr, Doherty and Beth met while she was working on the Z Bar.

While Doherty and Grey knew each other for around 20 years they only worked together for about nine years, when Doherty hired her to work at the Shannon View.

“She was a dynamic person who touched everyone’s lives she worked with,” said Doherty.

As Doherty would quickly learn, “Red” as he called her, was someone who cared deeply about the business.

In a phone interview, Doherty said she would have a list of things for him to do each day.

“She was an important part of the business,” Doherty said.

The diagnosis

One night in 2019, Carr and Beth were at home when she asked Carr to look at a twitching in her face. They both brushed it off.

It would continue and eventually the couple went to see a neurologist.

Carr explained that ALS is a “exclusionary disease,” meaning doctors rule out any other diagnosis first before determining it is ALS.

In 2019, she was officially diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.

According to the ALS Association ALS is a “progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord.”

There is no cure for ALS.

“You don’t realize how bad it is until you meet someone close to you with it,” Doherty said.

Three years after being diagnosed Carr proposed to Beth.

The couple said they were going to beat it but both knew it can’t be beaten, at least as of now.

Life with ALS

According to the ALS Association, once “ALS starts, it almost always progresses.”

“Most people with ALS eventually lose the ability to walk, dress, write, speak, swallow and breathe and their life span is shortened,” the organization’s website reads.

Despite the difficulties, Beth insisted on working after first being diagnosed.

Doherty allowed her to continue to work at the bar. For the regulars they understood. For those coming in for a drink or two while traveling they were understanding for the most part.

“Customers were receptive,” said Doherty.

In order to help, Doherty bought her a tablet in order for her to have cue cards on it asking the basic questions.

Doherty remembers the last day she worked. It was Monday, March 16, 2020, when the restaurant had to temporarily shut down due to the pandemic.

At home, Carr said that Beth would do what she could and to help with communication the couple came up with their own version of sign language.

“I would know,” said Carr.

Carr said he also got her a phone app in order to help dictate messages.

Oct.13, 2021

On the morning of Oct.13, Carr needed to perform a home inspection. He asked his sister to stay with Beth for a few hours while he was gone.

By the time he got to the Thurbers Ave. exit from Gaspee Point, he got a text from his sister “call me immediately.”

“I think Beth crossed over,” Carr recalls his sister telling him.

He quickly got off the highway and circled back. By the time he got back, the Warwick Fire Department was performing CPR on her.

She was in the living room and Carr was in the kitchen. He could hear the machines counting down 5,4,3,2,1 as they worked to revive her.

The paramedics were successful, and Beth spent the next six days in the ICU. Eventually she was brought to hospice where loved ones said their goodbyes. She passed away on Oct. 20.

The fundraiser

Knowing that he wanted to keep Beth’s memory alive, Carr brainstormed with Doherty about what could be done.

Carr said a GoFundMe page was established previously to help cover costs that are incurred from the disease.

The donated funds didn’t just come from people locally but instead from all over the country, many of whom Beth met at the Shannon View.

“The outpouring of support was overwhelming,” Carr said.

With the funds left over it was decided to start a foundation in Beth’s name. The foundation has a goal of assisting in rehabilitation of injured wildlife and rescues something Beth cared about deeply along with raising ALS awareness.

The first event is scheduled for April 2 starting at 12 p.m. at the Shannon View Inn. It would’ve been Beth’s 55 birthday. It will be the first annual “Always Bet on Red” Chili Competition. There is no entry fee but there’s going to be raffles and a well- known comedian. To learn more or to make a donation to the foundation visit elizabethcgreyfoundation.org.