The oak tree

Posted 2/14/23

The other day, we took a beautiful ride into the country.  It was a little chilly, but with the heat on, the scenery was the same no matter the weather.  When stopped at a long red light, I …

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The oak tree

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The other day, we took a beautiful ride into the country.  It was a little chilly, but with the heat on, the scenery was the same no matter the weather.  When stopped at a long red light, I glanced out of the window and saw a large, bare oak tree.  Looking at it quickly, it was just a tree.  However, as I sat there longer, more details came into light.  The bark was deeply furrowed in different shades of dark brown. Thick, long, naked branches rose high into the sky, sprouting out smaller branches which spouted out smaller branches which sprouted out the smallest branches that could be seen with the human eye from inside of a car. It was quite the handsome creation!

The experience with the tree was a valuable lesson, like the old saying "you can't judge a book by its cover".  Given extra time, I was able to see the amazing, natural details of this large, perennial plant with an elongated trunk that supports many branches and mini branches. It dawned on me that we should be viewing our fellow humans in much the same way I examined that tree, with appreciation for who they are as opposed to making a judgement based on what they look like.  

For instance, my adult daughter, Marie, has always dressed like a boy, and is regularly called "sir". She has very short, orange hair, along with several piercings and a few tattoos, praying hands which she got after my mom died, and a dolphin, her favorite animal.  Add to that the fact that she is deaf and does not speak orally except for the use of American Sign Language. People often look at her and quickly glance away, not wanting to make eye contact. If they did look a little closer, they would see a young woman who desperately wants to be accepted for who she is.  She is an amazing artist who can recreate any scene in colored pencils.  (The first ones she surprised me with were perfectly drawn Po Ke Man characters when she was 7 years old.) Marie has an amazing heart and will run to help someone else, a person in a wheelchair trying to traverse a step or a person with a vision impairment trying to cross the street.  She knows enough to offer her elbow to be their sighted guide rather than just grab them and cartoonishly drag them across the street. She loves scary, but not gory, movies, and her favorite drink at the bar is Angry Orchard, which she drinks sitting next to Hubby, who drinks beer in similar containers.  She is much more than her orange hair and deafness. 

An aunt of ours is in her 80's. She is generally homebound because she can no longer drive due to macular degeneration. We visit and help, of course, but until I was inspired by that tree, I had not appreciated her attributes. During her young adulthood, she was one of the Rockettes.  She kept herself in beautiful shape and had a great career.  The hope chest in her basement still holds many of the lavish costumes she wore. She volunteered to dance for USO shows for  servicemen, (not very many servicewomen at that time.) She did not marry and have children but was a foster parent to several dogs from the shelter. Church activities kept her busy until she lost her eyesight and ability to drive. She sang in the choir and was in charge of the Christmas Bazaar. Like that oak tree I saw, this elderly woman, with gray hair who walks with a cane and has difficulty hearing is actually quite complex.   

I think of my brother, Curtis, who was multiply disabled, schizophrenic, with a misshaped head and garbled speech.  People were rarely friendly with him, despite his goofy grin and attempt to say "hi", often accompanied by a wave of his hand. Inside he was a good soul.  He would share his Diet Coke with anyone who asked.  He never complained or had a bad word to say about anyone or anything. He loved to go to the movies, with Star Trek, of course, being his favorite.  He taught my children about acceptance and love.  

Like that admired oak tree, we need to look deeper at people to be able to appreciate their contents.  

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