Posted 2/15/22

MARRY ME* * *(Romantic Comedy)

What better time for a shmaltzy romantic comedy than Valentine’s week?

If you have seen the multitude of ads for “Marry Me,” you pretty much …

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* * *
(Romantic Comedy)

What better time for a shmaltzy romantic comedy than Valentine’s week?

If you have seen the multitude of ads for “Marry Me,” you pretty much know what to expect.

Jennifer Lopez plays Kat, a popular pop singer/dancer with millions of adoring fans around the world.

Her latest publicity stunt is to marry Bastian, the equally popular male singing sensation (Maluma) live on worldwide TV, as they sing their hit song, “Marry Me.”

In a badly convoluted scene, she and the rest of the world watch a video of future hubby making out with another woman.

Owen Wilson plays Charlie, a divorced math teacher who was dragged along to the live concert by his friend (Susan Silverman, as obnoxious as ever) and his teenage daughter.

He gets handed a “Marry Me” sign. Kat, in a moment of desperation, calls Charlie on stage and says that she will marry him.

You know all this from watching the promos, so I didn’t let Kat out of the bag.

What follows are a series of publicity stunts and interviews where Charlie is dragged through Kat’s glamorous, busy world, followed by Charlie introducing Kat to his.

You can only guess what happens. Their two different worlds collide, have their ups and downs, all leading to the ending that everyone expects.

It is all very silly, predictable, super sweet and adds up to a most romantic Hollywood valentine.

J.Lo is as gorgeous as ever, and Wilson as lovable as ever.

* * ½
(Boring remake of Christie’s novel)

Agatha Christie’s whodunnit novel has been done before, so you may remember how it ends in Kenneth Branagh’s latest version.

Branagh also stars as Hercule Poirot, the mustachioed French detective who always solves his cases.

You may think that you are in the wrong theatre when the movie opens with black and white scenes of soldiers in the trenches during World War I. It all has to do with why Poirot wears that ridiculous mustache.

The scene then switches to the 1930s as we are introduced to a bunch of English aristocrats preparing for a trip down the Nile to attend a posh wedding.

Right from the get-go, one of the characters appears to be up to no good, but the plot and the suspects change in every scene.

More difficult than trying to figure out whodunnit, is trying to stay awake during the long, boring scenes.

There are some glorious shots of scenery along the banks of the Nile, but they don’t compensate for the dragged-out scenes that lead to the familiar gathering where Poirot reconstructs the events leading up to the deaths.

Try to stay awake. The loud jazz music in the background will help.

movies, cinema


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